Category: Kids


Okay.  So, I’ve been working all day on this research paper/distracting myself with Facebook and Pinterest (they are the devil), and I found this quote that I just had to stop and blog about.

These are powerful words.  I know that I am a snarky bitch a lot of the time, but this quote could change your life in a very real way.  Life is hard people.  God (or Ala, or whoever you might pray to) didn’t say that it was going to be easy…just that it would be.  There are a few simple rules to maintaining happiness.

Rule #1

SMILE! 

Put on your pretty panties, grab a hairbrush, turn the radio up and sing and dance in the mirror!  Go ahead and laugh at yourself when you drop that stack of papers…you can still pick it up!  Life is so much less painful when you retain a sense of humor about the little things.

Rule #2

GET OVER IT! 

You aren’t always going to be number one.  That’s okay.  You are going to fail, many, many times.  But the courage to get back up and try it again might just be what you needed to get a fresh perspective on things.

Rule #3

TRY NEW THINGS! 

Doing the same old routine is comforting, yes.  I enjoy a cup of coffee every single morning.  But, there are days that I don’t get my coffee, and on those days, I decide, what the hell…maybe I’ll have tea.  And you know what?  I liked the tea!!!  New things make life fresh again, new friends bring new love and ideas, new stuff can be the highlight of your year if you allow it to!

Rule #4

STAY CONNECTED!

And no, I don’t mean with Facebook.  CALL SOMEONE!  To be fulfilled, you have to maintain real relationships with people.  Even if that means picking up the phone and actually having to figure out some sort of real conversation other than that quote you found on Pinterest today.

Rule #5

GO OUTSIDE!

Seriously…get out of the house.  Get your hands in the dirt, ride your bike, roller skate (I absolutely suggest this one), play softball, go to the park, enjoy nature and beauty and fresh air.  Pictures online do not do nature justice.

Rule #6

FORGIVE OTHERS!

C’mon guys, we are all guilty of this.  But seriously…we are all human.  And what is that grudge doing for you anyway?  Holding a grudge is similar to purposely giving yourself cancer, because anger grows over time.  We feed it, and the key to letting yourself be free is to forgive the other people who have hurt you.  People are always going to let you down, because they are people.  But guess what…you have let someone down too, and they have probably forgiven you.

Rule #7

GO ON A DATE!

This is so important.  It’s along the lines of staying connected, but you must do this with your intimate relationships as well.  For those of us in old dusty relationships, we have to ignite the fire and remember what the hell we wanted in these people that we have been with since the beginning of time.  Some days it is hard when you are staring at a nose hair that got missed by the trimmer…but date night is invigorating to a relationship.  And if you are not in a relationship, that’s okay too….ask somebody out!  Even if they are not your type, just to connect intimately (not sex, although that’s nice too), with another person.

Rule #8

SELF CARE!!

Do something that makes YOU happy.  Not your kids.  Not your mom.  Not your husband/wife.  Not your friends.  YOU.  Get a massage.  Read a book.  Write a song.  Go on a hike.  Visit Mt. Olympus.  Date a hot Italian.  Whatever is on that bucket list of things you love to do but you just keep putting off.  Do it now.

Rule #9

HELP SOMEONE ELSE!

There is no better feeling in this world than knowing that your act has had an effect on someone else’s well being.  Volunteer your time, your money, your children, whatever.  I promise you, somewhere, there is someone who has it worse than you.  Give of yourself and you will reap the benefits.

Rule #10

MAKE A CHANGE

The best thing about life is that you are in control of your actions.  You cannot always control your situation, but you get to pick how you react to wherever you are in life, be it person, place, or thing.  Make your choices, make your changes, and then appreciate them.  You either achieved or you failed, but either way, you learned.  Don’t let fear rule your life.  Like Nike says….Just Do It.

Mom!!!!!

“Hey mom, can I have a dollar?”

Good lord.  These kids are nickel, dime, and dollaring me to death!  I certainly understand that there are times that a parent should pass out the fundage, but man, when there are no funds to be had, how do you explain to a 6 year old that, no, we’re not actually rich?

Times are tough.  Money is tight.  Everyone is trying to rub two dimes together and come up with a $20 bill.  I, however, do not have these magical powers.  I’m sitting here staring at a $1000 AllState bill, all because these fucktards couldn’t get their shit together and bill me correctly on a monthly basis.  So now, I get to pay for their incompetence all in one chunk.  Yea me!!!

I also have to pay a lovely $800 ER bill for when my son damn near knocked himself out the other night.  I got one bill from the ER and another from the physician’s group, which would be fine, except we didn’t even see a damn physician.  We saw an assistant.  Fanfuckingtastic.  We were in the waiting room for 4 hours and then we got seen for a total of 7 minutes.  They took my son’s pulse and then billed me $162 for a pulmonary exam.  WTF???

Pardon my foul language, but holy shitballs!  Welcome to my life.  I’m sure that some of your lives are reflective of the same problems.  But, money comes and goes, usually going more than it comes, and life is not for the weak willed.  This game is tough, and I’m just gonna have to suck it up cupcake and make some things happen.

Now….on to finding that money tree…..

Budget????

Well, life is good.  I’m once again learning to live on a budget, and although it is difficult, it is attainable.  California is definitely a rough place to be right now, economically speaking, although the flowers on the trees that are blooming for spring right now are absolutely gorgeous. However, this is the area of the land of the free where it is the home of the completely broke and unemployed.

My kids are growing.  And eating.  And growing.  Holy crap when did food get this expensive?  I suppose if I fed them crap all day long I could save money, but I’m one of these mothers who fills the fridge with vegetables, fruits, yogurt, cheese, and all that kind of stuff.  Whole wheat pasta is actually pretty good.  Don’t worry…we have a cookie jar too, they get treats every once in awhile, but for the most part, healthy food=good food.

And I seriously wish I had time to coupon.  Those bitches save so much money!  Ugh.  I am the stupid cow who gets a few coupons and acts like I will use them, then I forget them on the way to the store.  My ADD is crippling my couponing ability!!  I see some of my friends posting about how much money they saved, and then I think back to when I actually tried to coupon.  What they don’t tell you is how much work it actually is to save as much money as they do.  How many hours you actually put in.  I just don’t have the time.

I have already cut back on the things that we don’t need, only buying necessities and all that jazz.  But let’s face it…just basic bills are expensive.  Too much month at the end of the money, if you know what I mean.

The funds are running low people.  So if you have any tips on how to score some extra cash (legally people, I can’t catch a case), please….let me know!!!!

but, I can’t.  Not after I just paid a $313 PG&E bill.  Holy shit.  Is California really this expensive?  I swear, the only part that seems like I remember it is the fruit guy on the corner giving me fantastic deals on a flat of strawberries.  And P.S., I’m paying $80,000 to get my master’s degree.  What in the hell was I thinking?

The good news is, hubby found a job.  The bad news is, the job is part-time.  The good news is, he’s got some side work to fill in.  The worse news is, it’s all a guessing game as to when or if the side work will continue to file in.

CRAP!

I’m not singing any more Biggie Smalls in my head anymore…just trying to sing in the rain (which, by the way is really lovely to see and smell, sorry Hub City friends).

Did I mention that I have to find childcare?  How does that work?  I need to pay someone to watch my children while I pay to work for free as I get my master’s.  Double crap.

And yet, the days are good.  I’m playing Roller Derby now, which is AWESOME!!

I’m no Tonya Harding, but I’ll still break your leg…

Wow.  I’m full of uncanny wit tonight…guess it’s been awhile since I got on here and decompressed to my phenomenal readers.

But I did have a crazy fun night with my kids and hubby watching, of all movies, Space Jam.  Then I did a long tuck-in with the kiddos while my sleepy-faced son drifted off to dreamland after his sweet prayers were finished.

My daughter even had a real talk with me about what was going on at school…score one for cool mommy with maybe some good advice.  Maybe not; is it wrong to tell your kid that when other kids are little assholes to treat them like doo doo back?  I mean, she’s usually really good at ignoring, but I could tell that this one little mean girl was really starting to hurt her feelings.  Kids like that make me want to kick them in the face.  With steel toed boots.  Ugly mommy is coming out.

Anyway folks, it’s nice to be back.  Hope you enjoyed the festivities, and I’ll see you all on the other side of my eyelids!

K.

So, my family and I have been staying with a friend and her son for about 2 weeks now, and it has been great.  Honestly, I was scared before we moved in.  I mean, friends are friends, but you don’t really know someone until you have lived with them.  They could be nasty pigs who don’t clean up after themselves, assholes in the morning (this is my husband), use up all the hot water, bitch if you eat the last Oreo cookie, or be some sort of serial toenail clipper who does that nasty shit in front of you.  But my friend is none of these things.  I would have to say that her worst habit is getting me out of bed in the morning with this gigantic smile on her face with a bottle of energy drink in hand.

“Get up! C’mon K., we’ve got things to do!!!”

This kills me.  But it’s been great.  We get along well, go to work at the same time, my hubby has been put to work fixing things in her house, the kids are all playing together well….wait.  Damn.  I knew there was a catch.  These boys are the evil of my eye.

This is Jaidon.

And this is Ethan.

And they are pure  

I’m telling you.  These boys are terror in motion.  A hurricane has nothing on them when they are together.  And it’s not just boys having fun.  It’s a lot of “Moooooom!!!  Jaidon pushed me!!!”

“Moooom!  Ethan hit me!”

Or we will walk into the bedroom and they will have the entire bed taken apart as they do belly flops onto their new gymnastic mat/slide/jungle gym.

It is an adventure every single day, let me tell you.  Yesterday they opened up their new toy guns, because everyone knows that every little boy is a “bad guy” and they proceeded to Wild West all of us in a manner befitting Colonol Mustard in the dining room.

These boys are my loves.  They were born one day apart and are best friends, yet worst enemies.  I believe that they will remain friends for life, even though we are moving out of Texas in less than 2 weeks.

Let’s face it.  Some people come into your life for only a little while, but some come into your life to stay.  Thank God for good friends.

Join Parga’s Junkyard as we Share Christmas with some of the web’s best bloggers!

\

December 8th, 2011

Featured Blog – Radcrafter

I did it. Oh yeah, I can cross hang the Christmas stockings off the

checklist. Yay! For those of you who read this little blog, you know I

mentioned previously that this was a major TO-DO on the Christmas

checklist this year. If you’re just checking in, you can read more

about that here. And, after lots of online oogling and book reading (I’

m always reading crafting, decorating books, etc) it finally came to me.

My idea was to merge a simple stocking pattern found online with a

pillow design that discovered in an old Martha Stewart decorating book.

 

 

These stockings are lined, only require

a few supplies and require minimum sewing skills to create. Visit Radcrafter to create your own ribbon Christmas stocking…

Do you have a Christmas blog post you would like to share with our readers? Sign up on our linky below to share your posts! Or if you are one of our readers just click on the Linky to see more Christmas posts to check out!

 

 

Halloweenie

I just wanted to drop in and say, no, I didn’t forget about my blog.  As a mother and a bartender, Halloween weekend is one of the busiest weekends of my life, so you’ll have to forgive me for sliding this weekend.  Besides…my little visit with Jack Sparrow and Wonder Woman left me so excited this evening that I just couldn’t think about anything else…not to mention a cat, Elmo, Olivia the pig, the cutest little bumblebee ever, a real ninja, a mummy, a mardi gras girl, and a wicked scary skeleton.

So you see…I have been a tad bit busy.  🙂  Hope y’all had an awesome and safe Halloween!

—-K.

Shhhhhhh….

Truly, truly, truly.  Bad choices.  Yuck.  And now I pay.  With a sweet sweet boy bouncing up and down on my lap.  Being a bartender in Texas with children…not so much fun the day after I work.  Especially on a slow slow night.

Yes, this comes with a price.  Especially the older my poor body gets.

Have you ever noticed that when you have a hangover everything seems 10x louder than it is?

Day 1 of three.

I think I’ll go rehydrate now.  Don’t judge me.

So, those of you who think being a Mom is not a job…let me just tell you first off that you can kiss my ass.  Secondly, I can prove to you that it is damn hard work.  Here was my day.

Wake up at 8:00 A.M.  Wait, is it eight already?  Shit!  GET UP EVERYBODY!!!!!  WE’RE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get Emily dressed and off to school, which is particularly difficult this morning because apparently this is her PMS week.  She refuses to wear any of the 12 pairs of pants I pull out of her drawer.  No, really.  Flat out refuses.  I tell her to get her pants on or else Mommy is gonna get crazy military on that ass.  She finally complies with some dark pink leggings (not the light pink ones Mom, you know that I hate light pink).  Shit.  She then complements her dark pink leggings with an ugly red jacket that truly only goes with her former T-Ball uniform.

Whatever.  She’s off to school.  Only 45 minutes late.  Shit.

I walk to the coffee pot, because y’all know I need my morning coffee, and I realize that there are still dishes in the sink from last night.  So, being OCD like I am about certain things, I fill the sink with soapy water and do the dishes.  I finally get them done and I make some coffee.  I sit down to drink it and check my Facebook and possibly write a blog, when I realize that it’s already past 9:00.  Damn.  I wanted to work out, because I’ve been trying to do that lately more often than once a month, so I decide that Ethan and I will go the gym with the pool and I can swim some laps.

My ADD takes hold and as I get myself and my son prepared I realize that there is laundry that needs to be done.  I pull the clean stuff out of the dryer, change the other over, then fold the clean stuff.  (I don’t put it away because I hate it). Then I realize that the dog needs to be fed.  With my Dad visiting my brother this has become a chore of the children’s, which means I have to monitor the 3 year old while he does it.  I get the water, he gets the food.

Shit.  The gym.  I go to my room and realize that I can’t really leave Ethan to his own devices without him destroying something or making a huge mess, so I find a cartoon for him to watch.  Now, where the hell is a bathing suit that doesn’t make me look too much like Rosie O’Donnel?  I go with the slimming yet mommyish blue bathing suit that covers the entirety that is my body and realize that I still haven’t gotten coffee.  Oh, I made it, but it’s sitting on the desk in front of the computer.  I walk out, bathing suit clad, and sit down at the desk (yep, I’ve been told that I have a very severe case of ADD).  I log onto Facebook and post that I’m going to the gym and does anyone want to have lunch later?

My friend C. quickly replies.  The only problem is, she has a photo shoot at 11, and has no hair and makeup girl.  DUN-DUH-NAAAAAAAAH~!  Super Krystie to the rescue! I quickly jump into my phone booth and spin wildly into my cape so that I can run over and help her with her client.  Oh yeah.  I’m that friend.  Well, there was a bit of selfishness in there.  I wanted her to go to lunch with me.  🙂

By the time I get done helping with hair at the photo shoot it is past 12.  So much for the gym.  I jump in the car to run to Wal-Mart…we are in dire need of paper plates….and by the time I get done spending 80 dollars there (those are some phenomenal paper plates), I realize that it’s now past 1.  I call Cyndi, who is finishing up her photo shoot, and tell her that I’m getting lunch now, because my little boy is starving, and honestly, I was too. Cyndi agrees to meet us at Applebee’s in about 20 minutes.

As I turned the corner from the Wal-Mart onto the main road I see a homeless woman with a sign.  “Will work for food.”  I make a split second decision, pull over, and invite her to lunch.  Fuck it.  Why not?  I always like to feed people.  She tells me her name, and my son graciously tells me as we walk into the restaurant, “I don’t want to sit by her.”  Yep.  My own little Dennis Leary.

We sit down at the restaurant and make small talk while we wait for Cyndi to get there.  Small talk with a homeless person is not easy, let me tell you.  Especially when you think about all the “stuff” that are your personal problems that seem so huge, but their “stuff” is made up of things like, holy shit it got a lot colder today and I don’t have a warm blanket for tonight.  But, we ate, and laughed and even my son warmed up to her a little bit.

Cyndi gets there and we finish lunch.  I then drop the lady off at some random place, and decide that it is 2:30 and I have just enough time to make it to Sam’s Club because we are almost out of fruits and veggies at my house, and that is against our religion.  No, seriously.  We’re from California.

Sam’s Club takes longer than I thought it would and OH SHIT!  It’s 3:00!  I have to be at Emily’s school in 15 minutes to pick her up!  I can’t drop her off late and then pick her up late to make it up!  We run to the cash register line, which is WAAAAAY longer than it should be on a Wednesday afternoon, and finally check out.  I make it to Emily’s school and grab her up just in time to realize that I forgot pudding and gummy worms for her Halloween party at the Girl Scout meeting tonight.  Oh yeah, and Emily needs red tights for her WonderWoman costume. I swear, if I don’t get this ADD under control…..

We drive to the supermarket, then back to Wal-Mart to get the needed goods.  It’s 4:42 by this point.  The party is at 6.  Shit.  Okay…I can do this.  Wait!  I have to pay the light bill or it’s late today!  I jump onto the computer and realize I can’t find my login information.  Fuck!  Where is that account number.  Are you kidding me???? It’s 4:45.  I have literally 15 minutes to get my payment in, so I call customer service.  Cue the elevator music…and then the voice of the annoying bitch who tells me that my wait time is going to be longer than 10 minutes due to high call volume.  I am frantic at this point.  Yes, it’s only 10 dollars, but I don’t want to pay another 10 dollars, damn it.  Wait…I remember!  I put in the correct info, and PRESTO!  The bill is paid!  Shit.  Okay.

We have to make dirt cups now kids!!!!  Uh huh…we now have to make some cutesie little cups with oreos, pudding, and gummy worms for the party that we are supposed to be at in 1 hours.  We get it done in 15 minutes and I realize that I still haven’t showered today.  I magically get in and out of the shower within 8 minutes…I’m like a ninja.  I yell to the kids as water is still dripping down the crack of my ass, “Time to put your costumes on!!!”  They yell with excitement, always ready for anything Halloween related, and start the process.  I walk out of the bathroom to help, still in a towel, and proceed to get them properly clothed.  Once they are done I realize that I am still in a towel.

Deep breaths. How much longer is my day???  Well, I still have to go through Ethan falling asleep before we even get out the door to go to the party as well as homework to be done and a meeting about the work Halloween party this weekend.  I would tell you about all that too, but I am getting too tired just writing this blog.

Hope your day was somewhat productive too!!  I think I’ll go have a little nightcap now.  🙂

Tator.

I woke up this morning to an elbow right in my face along with a knee in my back.  My husband is lucky it wasn’t him cause I probably would have punched him right in the gut for taking up so much space (which is a normal thing, btw).  Nope!  This time it was my son.  He is such an awful sleeper!  And by this, I mean he spreads completely out on the bed.  I don’t understand how a 3 year old can manage to take up practically an entire California King Size bed, but he manages to do it.

I get out of bed because I just can’t manage to hit the snooze button one more time, let along shove Ethan back over to his Dad’s side again.

Coffee.  I need coffee.  I make my way into the kitchen where the coffee pot awaits our morning routine.  It’s somewhat like a Folgers commercial, except I make my own coffee…nobody is sneaking in to wake me up with the aroma drifting down the hallway.  Plus I hate Folgers.  I use Hills Bros coffee and we grind our own beans in this house.  If you knew my Dad you would know that coffee is not just coffee.  It is a religion.  Anyway, I digress.

I inhale the smell of freshly ground coffee beans and get the pot percolating.  I realize that I actually got to sleep in this morning, and by sleep in, I mean I slept until 8.

What’s this?  No screaming?  No fighting?  No tantrums?  I’m just not really sure what to do with myself.

My son pads sleepily down the hallway and I realize that dreams really do come true.  That’s right…he slept through the night without wetting the bed (which is extra special, since he decided to climb into our bed).

He looked somewhat like this guy, except smaller and cuter.  Ignore the lady.

Next, I make a mental note of my to-do list today and realize that it really isn’t that long. Then I realize that I have no homework today.  I actually have some time for myself!!

Yup.  It’s gonna be a good day tator.